Seeking Happiness
by Fanatical Alice
Summary: He tries to find redemption in a falling apart girl on the bridge.


**_warning - this was not written at a healthy hour. i'm not really sure what's happening :P_**

_..._

_..._

_..._

_The journey of a thousand _

_Miles begins with a_

_Single Step._

* * *

Sasuke sat in his usual spot near the water and lit a cigarette. It was the perfect time of night in Konoha – the sun was just beginning to settle in the horizon, streaking the sky with purple and navy and a heavy splattering of stars, and the crickets were chirping their melodies lullabies. A light breeze whisked over the narrow river and made the cattails on the bank rustle.

A flicker of movement caught his attention. Surprised, he squinted hard and thought he saw the faint outline of a person. He or she was leaning on the bridge rails that connected the two halves of the city. Sasuke rubbed his eyes, but the figure refused to go away.

At that moment the moon peeked out from behind the clouds and bathed the world in it's pearly light.

Namely, the person clutching the iron rails.

Sasuke kept stock-still to avoid drawing attention to himself. It was a girl. She had thick ebony hair and heavy bangs that fell over her forehead and shielded her eyes. He could tell from where he sat that she was quite short.

It appeared she was looking out at the river.

Despite the time, it wasn't unusual. People were always stopping to throw rocks in the river or trying to decode the murky underwater depths. He watched the girl for a few seconds and was ready to turn away – when she raised her eyes to meet his.

She was smiling.

Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would find this behavior creepy. A girl he had never met before, leaning over the bridge rails, smiling at him as though she'd known he'd been there all along. He was used to girls smirking slyly at him and batting their eyelashes – but this was…this was different on so many levels.

There was something _off_.

Something _wrong_.

And without knowing why, Sasuke felt himself shaking his head.

Slowly and deliberately he shook his head at her until that _odd_ smile fell off her face. It was like he had disappointed her somehow. He stopped shaking his head and watched her turn on her heel disappear. A porcelain fairy dancing in the nighttime shadows.

* * *

_Fragile hearts find each other_

* * *

The next day. The same time. The same place.

She was back.

He approached her this time, cigarette between his lips. He was confident around girls. But _this_ girl refused to acknowledge him until he was right beside her, and even then she kept her baby blue eyes fixed on the ripples below their feet.

"_Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead_."

Sasuke was taken aback, "…What was that?"

"It's a Scottish Proverb," she hid behind a veil of black hair. "Have you ever h-heard one?"

He noticed her slight stutter. "Ah, no."

"What d-do you think it m-means?" she asked.

"What you just said?"

"Yes."

Sasuke filled his lungs with smoke and let it all out in a long, drawn out, sigh. He felt the tense muscles in his shoulders begin to relax. "Exactly what you think it does. Be happy because you're living, because you're going to be dead for even longer. It's advice."

She tilted her face to the sky. "But what if you c-can't find the r-right happiness?"

Sasuke frowned. "I don't think you _find_ happiness. It finds you."

"I really wish it would hurry up then."

"…Yeah. Me to."

* * *

_Is this what they were looking for?_

* * *

Somehow, it became an unspoken tradition.

Her name was _Hinata_. Hinata Hyuga. Such a regal sound to it. Sometimes, when they were standing in silence, Sasuke would roll her name of the tip of his tongue. And she'd blush. And he'd smirk. And they might even share a cigarette or two.

"_Happiness is like a butterfly._

_The more you chase it, the more it eludes you._

_But if you turn your attention to other things,_

_It comes and sits softly on your shoulder."_

"Whose that by?"

"Henry D-David Thoreau."

"Really."

She glanced at him. "Did y-you not like it?"

"That's not it," Sasuke frowned. "It just makes sense."

"Y-yeah…it does, doesn't it?" Hinata smiled at the river, but never at him. He could always see the faint pink that tinged her cheeks, though.

* * *

_Illusions only stick around for so long._

* * *

Hinata was breaking.

Cracking at the seams.

He could see it coming.

He couldn't _stop _it.

The final snap.

That would make her shatter.

Completely.

Utterly.

Infinitely.

* * *

_They couldn't hold together._

* * *

When she came to him, she was shaking. Her hands. Her legs. Her entire body was quivering. In what? Fear? He couldn't be certain.

He gathered her in his arms. He held her together.

"We're almost there Hinata," he whispered. "We've almost made it."

"I can't hold on," she whimpered into his chest.

A piece of her fell into the river that day.

* * *

_They ignored reality._

* * *

She was drunk.

High.

High as the sky.

And so was he.

What a wonderful awesomeness.

Wasn't it?

"Isn't it?" he snickered into her _smoothsmooth _neck.

"It is!" she agreed much to loudly.

But they didn't care.

Because they were gone baby gone.

Screw reality.

Let's live in our dreams. Forever

* * *

_The end of everything._

* * *

They were kissing on the grass.

He wasn't really sure who had started it.

But she had really soft lips.

And she smelled like vanilla.

And her voice was so sweet.

And she was so smart.

And she listened.

And she was gentle.

And she might just be the happiness he was looking for all along.

* * *

_They are their own destruction._

* * *

Things are falling apart.

Nothing specific. Just _things_.

His grades have been fed to the sharks.

His dad keeps hitting.

His mom keeps crying.

He feels like he's living outside his body.

Where'd you go, Hinata?

EVERYONE IS BREAKING.

* * *

_Wheels are turning in the wrong direction._

* * *

They were talking about their parents.

"My d-dad loves me."

"That's nice."

"...He l-loves me to m-much."

"How so?"

"H-he m-makes... me take p-pictures."

"That's not bad."

"Wh-when... I'm- n-naked."

She cried.

AND HE WANTED TO SCREAM.

* * *

_The truth is impossible to face on your own._

* * *

"Hinata?"

"Y-yes?"

"Don't be scared."

"Okay."

"My brother's dead."

"Th-that's awful…I'm s-so sorry Sasuke-"

"I killed him."

That's where Itachi is.

HE'S DEAD HE'S DEAD HE'S DEAD.

* * *

_And finally…_

* * *

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

* * *

_The taboo._

* * *

After countless daysmonthsyears Sasuke finally feels clear.

Clear and weightless.

Hinata's hand in his.

Their baby in her stomach.

They are a family.

And they will die together.

At the same time.

In the same place.

What a beautiful destiny.

"We'll find it," she assures him.

He squeezes her hand. "I know."

They've found pretend happiness.

It is time to seek the real thing.

Whether it will let them find it... or not.

The river takes them.

* * *

_Maybe this is for the best._

* * *

**notenotenote; thanks for reading! :)**

**I feel like i use the word 'it' a lot in this hahaha**

**at the beginning i wanted to make a really long oneshot, but then i got tired and started making the sentences shorter, coz i wanted to finish it before i went to sleep right, so that's why it gets choppy towards the end hah! **

**disclaimer, I don't own the characters/quotes**


End file.
